Month 30 - Recap

Dude, I am worn slap OUT by your antics this month. I totally understand that the 'why' stage is a constant barrage of questions. But you, sir, seemed to have taken it to a whole 'nother level. I was just talking to Bob, saying how I don't remember this stage being so exhausting with Natalie. Bob laughed and said "Of course it wasn't ... Natalie didn't have an older sibling to egg her on!" Ah yes. The egging. Your sister is an expert egger. She encourages you to ask questions because she sees how totally exasperated I get after, oh, I don't know ... hour 378 of the constant why's.

Here's just a smattering of the craziness that goes on 24/7 'round these parts:
You: Yook, Momma! A po-weece [police] car!
Me: That's right, buddy! A police car!
You: Why?

You: (after pulling into the driveway) We hooooooome!
Me: Yep, we're home!
You: Why?

You: Yook, Momma! I have Buzz Yightyear!!
Me: Hi Buzz!
You: Why?

You: Yook, Momma! I have on a funny beht [belt]. (You stretched out my kitchen tongs to fit around your plump little belly)
Me: (laughing)
You: Why?

You: Oooh, a big twuck [truck]!
Me: Oh yeah, it's huge!
You: Why huge?
Me: Um, because it's not small?
You: Why not small?
Me: (my brain has melted so I'm absolutely floundering at this point) Um, because it's big?
You: (grinning, TOTALLY aware of what you're doing) Whywhywhywhywhywhywhy???? Whymommawhymommawhymomma?
Me: Oh gracious. Charlie ... please, man ...
Natalie: (cackling like a dang hen from the back seat) Charlie! Ask her another question!! Momma's going crazy! This is FUN!

You also say you're going to ask Daddy if my answer is ever "I'm not sure" or "I don't know". See, now that would totally work on many topics of conversation, like engineering, the Bible, Tulane, the Army, how to make the perfect omelet, etc. But some of the things you say you're going to ask Daddy about are things that Daddy just can't help you with.

Case in point:

You: Where dat guy goin'? (referring to a guy walking down Hwy 90)
Me: Hmm, I'm not sure, bud.
You: *hmph* I ask Daddy.
Um, yeah, Daddy doesn't know either.

You: Where dat car goin'? (referring to the car next to us at a red light)
Me: Maybe to the grocery store, maybe to the dry cleaners, maybe to the gas station. I don't know for sure.
You: Oh well. I just ask Daddy yater [later].
DADDY DOESN'T KNOW THIS EITHER!

You also point out every restaurant we've ever eaten at and ask what we got to eat.

You: Went dere!! (pointing at a local breakfast place)
Me: Yep, we did!
You: What I get?
Me: Pancakes.
You: What Nattie get?
Me: A breakfast sandwich and hashbrowns.
You: What Daddy get?
Me: An omelette
You: What Mommy get?
Me: Eggs and hashbrowns.

(the next day)
You: Went dere! (pointing at the same local breakfast place)
Me: Yep, we sure did!
You: What I get?
Me: Pancakes.
You: What Nattie get?
Me: A breakfast sandwich.
You: What else?
Me: What else what, buddy?
You: What else Nattie have?
Me: Um ....
You: Hass-bwowns!!

Clearly, if I don't give the EXACT answers every time, you grill me until you get the answer(s) that satisfy you. THIS EXHAUSTS ME TO NO END.

And every (e.v.e.r.y.) time we pass by the bowling alley, we have the same conversation:
You: Bo dere!
Me: That's right! That's where we went bowling!
You: Bo 'gain?
Me: Yep, we'll go again.
You: Why?

Daddy had an idea to turn this constant-question-thing back around on you. Instead of answering why, we say "Why do YOU think, Charlie?" Your response? "Ummm, I don't fink." You are such a punk.

I'm sure you did other things this month. I just don't have any more functioning brain cells to figure out what they were. (Now you say, "Why?")

Just for the record, you still hate baths and all things vegetable-y.

Just for the record, I am still hopelessly and proudly wrapped around your grubby and sticky little finger.

Hugs and smooches,
Mommy & Daddy

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Headlines for May 9, 2014:

• U.S. Experts Arrive in Nigeria to Hunt Girls Taken by Boko Haram
• Groomsmen Leave Wedding Party to Rescue Fisherman
• Don't Call Me Grandma: Births to 'Older' Moms on the Rise
• Dr. Dre: Will He Be the World's First Billionaire Rapper?
• Boston Bombing Suspect ‘Begged for Rest’ During Questioning After Nearly Dying

April 2014 - Recap

My sweet little stinker,
This has been a rough month. I do believe both you and Charlie have made a secret Smithkid agreement to act like big ol' Whiny McBadAttitudes. Your fussing this month has included, but is not limited to complaining about getting wet ... while you were in the bathtub. Complaining about getting wet ... when you JUST asked me to spray you with the hose. Complaining about bugs ... when we're outside ... in Florida ... in the spring. Complaining that Charlie was playing with your Barbie ... after you gave him the Barbie to play with. Complaining that we never buy you ANYthing EVER as long as you LIVE ... after we just bought you some craft supplies. Pure lunacy.

You graduate preschool next month. Before I had kids, I thought that any graduation ceremony for someone other than a high school senior or a college senior was ridiculous. But now that I have kids? My thought have changed a wee bit. Yes, it's still silly ... but it's SO CUTE WHEN IT'S YOUR OWN KID! You took your graduation pictures, complete with cap and gown and fake diploma. It may or may not have been the most adorable thing on the planet (spoiler: it was). And your teacher said that you and your class will all be wearing caps and gowns for your graduation in a few weeks. SO FUN. AND YES, SO SILLY.

Speaking of school, we've had a good lesson in friendship this month. A little girl in your class has been being pretty mean to you and saying some rude stuff. You didn't know what to do (duh, you're five), so you didn't do anything - you just kept playing with this little girl and she just kept being mean. It wasn't until your teacher mentioned it to me that we were able to work through it. We explained to you that you are NOT to be mean back to her but you do NOT need to play with someone who treats you badly. You couldn't wrap your mind around someone being purposefully mean, so it took a few days for you to understand what to do. Now every day, you tell me how she acted and what you did. And I'm proud as punch of you. You stood up for yourself without being mean.

Your ballet recital is also next month. I can't WAIT to see it. The girls in your class are all so cute and all have the attention span of, well, five- and six-year-old girls. But your teacher is such a sweetheart and has been working hard on teaching you girls the routine. I think these lessons have surprised you, in that you actually have to learn something and not just prance around to the Hokey Pokey or Skip to My Lou.

Daddy and I introduced you to The Cosby Show this month. Daddy and I have to approve all the kid shows you and Charlie watch (there are some seriously obnoxious kid shows out there. Stop it, Kid Show Producers!), and we have a small set of decent ones that we let you watch so it's not like we were looking for something non-annoying for you to start watching. But we figured that you'd get a kick out of watching The Cosby Show, particularly if either Rudy or Olivia is close to your age. Obviously you don't understand all the jokes, but you think Rudy and/or Olivia are so fun and find Bill Cosby's facial expressions hilarious. They are and they are. I love your great sense of humor. You're welcome for that, by the way.

Hugs and smooches,
Mommy & Daddy

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Headlines for May 1, 2014:

• New York Teen Accepted to All 8 Ivy League Schools Picks Yale
• Vet Allegedly Kept Family's Dog Alive for Experiments
• Actor Bob Hoskins Dead at 71
• 60 Teens Arrested After Senior Pranksters Break Into New Jersey School

Pensacola got hit with a record storm on Tuesday - here are some of the headlines from it:

• Portion of Scenic Highway has collapsed
• Manna Food Pantries may be a total loss after flood
• Gulf Breeze homes suffer sinkholes from floodwaters
• Gov. Rick Scott tours Pensacola
• State of Emergency in Escambia County; drowning reported

And then yesterday,

• Two inmates were killed and scores injured Wednesday, after an explosion at the Escambia County Jail.

To put it mildly, Pensacola has had a rough week.