Wednesday, November 09, 2016

Month 60 - Recap

My sweet FIVE-YEAR-OLD,
Yes, I meant to yell that part. I love birthdays and I love celebrating people and I love each new stage of my kiddos' lives. I've never been one to boo-hoo the passing of a previous stage; I'm the one who likes to look at baby and toddler pictures but doesn't long to relive those seasons of life again. So you being five is awesome, incredible, amazing, and such fun. You're such a great little boy.

I forgot to mention it in a previous recap but you got a ribbon in Ninja class for mastering the underswing move. What is the underswing move, you may ask? I have no idea. When I asked you, you were equally as clueless. Though you did provide this helpful tidbit of information: "Um, I think it was when I was swinging under something, Momma." Cool, thanks. That explains so much. Regardless, you got a cool ribbon. And when you're a kid, that's all that matters.

I made your birthday cake this year. You said you wanted a Lego birthday party, so a Lego birthday you had. And I made a Lego brick cake. Pinterest made it seem so easy ... famous last words. A few hours later and a few less-than-family-friendly words later, what was in front of me was a Lego cake. Or, well, a Lego-esque cake. Or, maybe, it perhaps would have looked like a Lego cake if you had the vision of Mr. Magoo and you didn't have your glasses on.

But the wonderful thing was that you liked it. You thought it was awesome. You thought it was the coolest cake in the world. And when you saw that I wasn't 100% happy with it, you put your arm around me and said "Mommy! It doesn't have to look exactly like the picture! I don't care about that! I think it looks awesome and I bet it tastes yummy!" I just love you, my darling boy.

(And you know what? It totally tasted awesome. Boom.)

Hugs and smooches,
Mommy & Daddy

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Headlines for November 9, 2016:
  • Donald Trump is President-Elect of the United States (When you're older, we'll talk about this election, because DUDE. It was a hot mess. And this headline shocked practically everyone.)
  • Trump Captures Presidency in Stunning Upset of Clinton
  • Republicans Maintain Control of US Senate
  • The Canadian Immigration Site Actually Crashed On U.S. Election Night
  • 3 States Look Set to Legalize Recreational Marijuana Use
  • Prince Harry Condemns 'Harassment' of Girlfriend

Year Five - Year End Review

Whole hand. That's how old you are - a whole-hand's-worth-of-years. Each finger represents a year of milestones (sleeping through the night! crawling! walking! potty training! eating something that wasn't beige! LIKING BATHS!), laughter (gut-busting laughter, to be sure, because you totally take after your momma in being hilarious), dirt (because, boys), noise (again, because boys), and sweetness (because you are, without a doubt, the sweetest, kindest boy in the galaxy). Oh, and dimples. The dimples are my fave.

So while I process all the wonders that have been your previous finger-ages, here are your Top 10 Lists:

10 Things You're Good At:
  1. Being charming. Your smile + your dimples + your facial expressions + your personality = a bucket of charm
  2. Being chivalrous. I don't open doors for myself when you're around. It's precious.
  3. Swimming in the shallow end. You're nowhere near drown-proof and you won't jump off the edge of the shallow end (let alone the deep end) into the water, but once you're in the shallow end (after you carefully walk down the steps), you can toodle along the bottom of the pool for as long as your lungs will let you. You love it so much.
  4. Riding your bike. Last year, you were a big ol' weenie and told me it was too hard to pedal your bike. This summer, you finally decided to stop being a weenie and start pedaling your bike. And now you zoom down the street really fast.
  5. Getting sweaty. It's a given when you're a Smith, and you carry on the legacy proudly.
  6. Building Charlie-original Lego creations. Your specialties are police boats.
  7. Following the rules.
  8. Practicing writing your letters. You can write your letters but you can't spell, so one of my favorite things to do is to get you to write out funny words without you knowing what you're writing. The first thing I had you write was BOO YAH, BABY! Being a mom is fun.
  9. Coming up with weird reasons to wake me up at 3am. "My blanket fell off." "Patches [you stuffed dog] is upside down." "I didn't have a nightmare." Yep, you sometimes let us know that you *didn't* have a nightmare. That's so precious. But not really.
  10. Being cautious. Five years strong.

10 Things You're Not Good At:
  1. Taking your time when you color. You and a preschool friend have a race to see who can color pictures in the shortest amount of time. This causes your ar-teest sister and Type A mom a tad bit of angst. Your teacher assures me this is normal. This does nothing to calm my angst.
  2. Hanging your clothes up the way I want you to. YOUR SHIRTS AREN'T ALL FACING THE SAME WAY! AND THEY'RE NOT IN RAINBOW ORDER!! HOW DOES THIS NOT DRIVE YOU CRAAAAAZY?? Oh. Is it because you're five and not a weirdo like your mom?
  3. Keeping your spot at the table clean while you eat. Eating over one's plate is for sissies, I guess.
  4. Mowing the lawn. Granted you can barely see over the handle and the mower weighs about the same as you do but that's no excuse. Make yourself useful.
  5. Emptying the dishwasher without starting up a game of "Toss the Dishtowel onto Natalie's Head While Running By Her"
  6. Jumping jacks. 'Flailing Spazzos' is a better name.
  7. Balancing a checkbook. Shameful.
  8. Writing small. It often takes you two lines (sometimes two pages) to write your name. My sincerest apologies we didn't name you something like Ty or Joe.
  9. Doing a cartwheel. You do live with the Cartwheel Queen who "tries" to "help" you by "showing you" how to do one so maybe her "lessons" will eventually stick.
  10. Saving your money for a good toy. The second you get more than $2, you spend it on the goofiest, junkiest toy that TJMaxx has to offer.
10 Things You Love:
  1. Legos
  2. Wrestling with Natalie
  3. Preschool
  4. Specific foods (not limited to, but not much more than: pizza, grilled cheese, mac & cheese, PB&J, snacks full of processed carbs, yellow and orange bell peppers, most fruit, cheeseburgers, chicken legs, all meat from a pig [atta boy!], most dessert)
  5. Being read to
  6. Superheroes
  7. Star Wars
  8. Baths. This one still makes me jump for joy after years of you screaming like a wackadoo during bathtime.
  9. Dude Perfect videos and People Are Awesome videos on YouTube.
  10. Hot Wheels/Matchbox cars

10 Things You Hate:
  1. Lots of food (not limited to, but definitely including: all vegetables except raw yellow and orange peppers, cucumbers, and steamed broccoli - picky much?, beans, soup, shrimp, potatoes in any forms except French fries and tater tots, tacos, raisins, all sauces/dressings/dips, casseroles)
  2. Being scared.
  3. Disappointing people. You're a natural people-pleaser and you're genuinely sad when there's a chance you've disappointed someone.
  4. Bugs. Thanks to the Great Yellow Jacket Infestation of 2014, you think every bug is a stinging bug.
  5. Dogs. Or cats. Actually, you're not a fan of animals in general. There are a few pets belonging to some friends that you'll tolerate but that's about it.
  6. When a child you don't know extremely well being in your space. It's even worse if this child touches you. You immediately tense up and look for an escape. I totally understand this but it's also unfortunate because many kids your age communicate the desire to play by grabbing a friend's hand and pulling them toward the direction of where they want the friend to go. Regardless, this does not sit well with you. So we work on ways for you to say "Please don't pull me. I don't like that." in a way that's kind but direct.
  7. Being left out.
[When you're a pretty good-natured kid, your mom has a hard time coming up with more than seven things you hate. That's a good problem to have.]

A whole hand number of years ago, Team Smith was complete in its foursome-ness. It seems like yesterday you were born. It also seems like I've never existed without you in my life. Kids have a funny way of doing that to you, I suppose.

The bond that you and Natalie share is a beautiful (and loud) and special (and messy). I didn't have a brother, and while my memory is admittedly foggy, I don't recall KK and ever blowing raspberries in each other's faces or yelling in each other's ears. It's super gross and super noisy. But as long as you two aren't crying (of mild importance) and you two don't raspberry MY face (of critical importance), I don't interfere. A wise friend told me when you were first born was that it was important for you and Natalie to develop your own relationship, independent of me (again, as long as nobody's getting hurt). So I just sit back and listen to you two speak in a made-up language, wrestle on the bed, turn the big floor pillow into a boat, or build Lego creations. And then five minutes later, I listen to sighs, stomps, and eye rolls (did you know I can hear an eye roll? Well, I can. Booyah.) as you two fight over dumb stuff.

You are a joy to be around. You're funny, you're thoughtful, you're imaginative, you're silly, you're cuddly, you're sensitive, you're mine. You are a treasure, my angel boy.

My heart verges on the edge of exploding when I look at your sweet face and realize how thankful I am the Lord blessed our family with you. He knew just what He was doing when He made you. You are the perfect fit for Team Smith. You are my little man, my helper, my comic relief, my sweet soul, my hand holder. You are Daddy's little buddy, his gross boy-noise-making partner-in-crime, his Home Depot companion, his sports-watching sidekick. You are Natalie's pal, her wrestling partner, her confidante, her playmate, her forever best friend.

You are our Charlie Bear and we love you more than words can say.

Hugs and smooches,
Mommy & Daddy

Tuesday, November 01, 2016

October 2016 - Recap

My darling girl,
You knocked my socks off this month.

There's an activity book at a cool used bookstore in town that you have to have. I acknowledged your plight but politely informed you that it was too close to Christmas and too close to your birthday to buy a $20 book for you. You were thrown into the depths of despair but an idea quickly came to mind which allowed you to see the light. "Momma, what if *I* bought the book?" I told you that if you wanted to use your own money, you were free to get it. You jumped all over that idea but then you were back into the ol' Pit o' Despair again. "But Momma! It'll take me forevvvvvvvverrrrrrrrrr to make enough money when I only get $.50 for folding bath towels!!!"

That's when I informed you that because folding towels involves clean laundry, is a chore that can be done sitting down, in the air-conditioning, while you're watching TV, and takes 15 minutes, it's only a $.50 chore. If you'd like to earn more money, you'll have to do something that's dirtier, hotter, more uncomfortable, and takes longer.

Mopping the floor; cleaning toilets; sweeping the driveway and porch; raking and bagging leaves. These are all chores that are worth more than $.50.

You agreed to all of them, and then Daddy told you the lawn needed to be mowed. I've never seen a girl more excited to mow! Daddy told you if you mowed everything (front, back, and side yard), he'd pay you $10. I was fully expecting you to tap out after 15 minutes, earning a measly $2 or $3. But you blew me away. You hung in there the entire time, only needing Daddy to take over a few times. And it was almost completely dark for the last 10 minutes you mowed, but you didn't stop until everything was done. You. Did. It. And you earned a well-deserved $8 - and a nice, cool shower afterwards. (In case you're wondering, Daddy was right beside you the whole time, with one hand on lawn mower to help you keep it going in a straight line.)

I was so proud of you, my sweet girl. You did hard, manual labor - practically nonstop - for 90 minutes. You were a hot mess afterward, dripping with sweat and covered in dirt and grass clippings. But what stood out the most was your gigantic grin on your face. You were thrilled with yourself. And for the next few days, every time we pulled up to the house, you ran around the yard, marveling at your work.

You had every right to be proud - the yard looked great.

And by the way, it's time to mow again. Chop, chop.

Hugs and smooches,
Mommy & Daddy

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Headlines for November 1, 2016:
  • Trump Tells Early Voters to Change Their Ballots If They Have 'Buyer's Remorse'
  • Huma Abedin lies low amid email probe
  • FBI investigations into Trump-Russia ties yield little
  • Justin Ross Harris' Ex-Wife Retakes Stand in Hot-Car Murder Trial: 'He Destroyed My Life'
  • Boy's death linked to polio-like 'mystery illness'
  • Bob Dylan: Nobel Prize 'Left Me Speechless'