Sunday, February 01, 2015

January 2015 - Recap

My future snaggle-tooth,
You have at least five loose teeth (two on top, three on bottom) in your mouth. One is so loose (how loose is it?), it'd probably fall out if you sneezed hard enough. You're simultaneously delighted and horrified at the thought of one of your teeth coming out. And Daddy and I are 100% delighted by your reaction when we tease you incessantly about the ways we can pull your tooth out for you. You squeal and shriek and run away from us whenever we mention a string and a door.

And I've found another reason why I'm glad we homeschool. It was made aware to me that the Tooth Fairy has raised her rates considerably since I lost my baby teeth. And apparently, it's not uncommon for the Tooth Fairy to pay out anywhere from $10-$20 (and up!) per tooth. But that's for the Public School Tooth Fairy. And the Smith Academy of Periodic Learning and Constant Singing, the Tooth Fairy doesn't wish to participate in that payment plan. The SAPLCS Tooth Fairy prefers single-digit payouts. Like, you'll be lucky to get $5 for your first tooth. And maaaaaybe $1 for each additional tooth. Because who wants to spend a the equivalent of a car payment on a heap of enamel? Not THIS Tooth Fairy.

You've wanted to learn cursive for years. The rule was that you had to (re)learn how to hold your pencil correctly and consistently form all of your letters the proper way before we'd do cursive. Now you do, so we started cursive last week. You've written "fancy letters" (your term, not mine) for a while now. If you had a massive crush on a cute boy, I'd imagine that's the kind of writing you'd do when you put his last name with your first name. (Note: this is not allowed to happen for another ten years). It's very flowery and cutesy. And it's also how you think real cursive is. So it came a big shock to you when I showed you how cursive As were not, in fact, written with 18 loops and swirls, complete with a smiley face and a flower. Traditional cursive As are, in fact, pretty plain and do not, contrary to (un)popular opinion, have or need bedazzling. Needless to say, we're still working on As and Bs. Not decorating the letters is difficult for you, but I've been impressed with your restraint. Although you did sneak in eyes and a nose when you wrote the tail (the smile) part of the cursive capital B. Cute, definitely. Correct, not so much.

I'm astonished at the degree to which you both Dilly and Dally. If it were an Olympic Sport, you'd bring home gold, silver, bronze, AND the Thanks for Participating medal. You're six. You don't wear makeup. You don't do anything to your hair except spray some detangling spray in it and periodically run a brush through it. But you're in the bathroom for an incredible number of minutes. Waaaaay more minutes than it should take someone to go to the bathroom and wash her hands.

And you don't have an abnormally large number of teeth, nor are your teeth abnormally large. But it takes you eons to brush your teeth. Wait - I take that back. It doesn't take you long to brush your teeth. It's the prep work that goes into the teeth brushing process that's so time-consuming.

Did you know there exists no rule that states you must have the precise amount of water in your cup before starting to brush your teeth? You'll spend minutes trying to find the perfect amount of water.

Fill up your cup
Check the level
Discover there's too much water
Dump a little out
Oops, that was too much
Fill it up some more
Pour out a bit
Take a few sips.
Fill the cup back up to replace what you drank.

And then ... THEN comes the one woman Broadway show. You sing, you dance, you make wild faces in the mirror. And only after you've sung your grand finale, can you begin to clean your teeth. I'm hoping you lose these five teeth soon, so maybe that'll shave off a few minutes of your hours-long bathroom routine.

Hugs and smooches,
Mommy & Daddy

Headlines for February 1, 2015:
  • Super Bowl 2015: Tickets Priciest in History ($4K+)
  • Japanese prime minister 'infuriated,' by journalist's beheading, vows to hold ISIS responsible
  • Justin Timberlake confirms wife Jessica Biel's pregnancy with cute pic
  • Comet Lovejoy Glows as It Swings Around the Sun
  • Robot Learns Moves by Watching YouTube Videos

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