Monday, January 11, 2016

Month 50 - Recap

50 months old. That makes me giggle. And it makes me think about the funny parents who refer to their children's ages in months-form even after the child is older than two. "Oh my son? Yes, he's 31 months old. And my daughter is 44 months old. I also have a pair of twins who are 127 months old."

Christmas has come and gone and you are now the proud owner of a Nerf gun and approximately 7,000 spare darts/bullets. The joy that this toy brings you is only rivaled by the joy brought by your bow and arrow. Nothing in our house is safe ... except me. Because "No Hitting Mommy" became The Rule of the Utmost Importance the moment you opened the package. You spend much of your time indoors protecting Natalie and me from the droves of bad guys who seem to hide in our house.

I hung up some paper lanterns to decorate for Natalie's birthday and it took you less than a second to realize they make excellent targets for your beloved Nerf gun. While we were eating lunch in the kitchen, you scooted away to the living room. The next thing I hear is you belly-laughing as you launched a full-scale attack on the lanterns. Natalie quickly put down her hot dog and joined the assault. These poor lanterns didn't stand a chance. And Daddy may or may not have modified one of the Nerf darts with a thumbtack and shot at the party balloons. It may or may not have been a brilliant idea.

You came up to the me the other day looking really distressed. I asked you what was wrong and, hand to heaven, this is what you said:

You: I weally [really] need to find a wife.
Me: Um, like, now? This year? This month? This week? In 15 minutes?
You: *dramatic sigh* I don't know. I'm just worried I won't find a wife. And then I won't be able to have kids. And then I won't be able to be a daddy.
Me: Trust me, kiddo. You'll find a wife.
Me: *to myself* Cuz with those dimples?! I'm going to probably have to beat some girls off with a stick. Not that I'm biased or anything.
You: But what if I don't?
Me: Well, it's okay to not be married. But I have a feeling you will be. And plus, I'm already praying for your wife.
You: You're WHAT?
Me: Yep. Already praying for her!
You: That's funny.
You: *not two seconds later* Hey Natalie! Let's go shoot the lanterns again!!!
Natalie: YES!!!

Dear Future-Daughter-in-Law-of-Mine,  
I certainly hope you can find joy in the silly things in life, like shooting paper party decorations with foam bullets. But I assume you will. Because I assume that'll be one of the first things that brings you and my sweet be-dimpled boy together.

Hugs and smooches,
Mommy & Daddy

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Headlines for January 9, 2016:
  • New Iowa Poll Shows Ted Cruz and Donald Trump in Tight Battle
  • 'El Chapo' in Solitary Confinement as Lawyers Fight His Extradition to US
  • Powerball Jackpot Is Now $1.4 Billion
  • Ringling Circus Elephants to Retire in May
  • Musician David Bowie Dead at Age 69
  • MADD Petition Demands 'Affluenza' Teen Be Moved to Adult Court

No comments: