Month 33 - Recap

Well hello, Mr. Toddler Bed Rockstar,

Daddy and I have been debating about when to tackle the dreaded (in my mind) Crib-to-Toddler-Bed Conversion. He thought now would be a good idea; I was thinking more like on your 13th birthday (because nothing says "You're a young man now" more than not sleeping in the same bed you were swaddled in). It was an eight-month-long trip into Nightmare Town when we converted your sister's crib into a toddler bed, so obviously I wasn't itching to make this move any time soon. But one night a few weeks ago, I was clearly having a crazy moment, when, at 6:30pm, I was all "Hey babe, let's convert his bed now." Daddy was such a good sport and said "Um now? Well, um, okay ..." All I said to you on the first night was "Charlie, don't get up in the middle of the night. Wait until I come get you in the morning." Your response? "Okay, Mommy!" And that was that. Seriously. No lie. We put you in and you sleep. You stay in your bed until I get you. It's glorious.

Well, it's mostly glorious. You are still lacking the gene that gives you the ability to pull up your own blanket when it falls off you in the middle of the night. You are, however, full of the gene that gives you the ability to whine and fuss and holler until someone who was born with the pulling-up-a-blanket gene comes to your aid. It's not cute at all (despite you being full of the gene that makes you painfully cute).

This is the first month that I can tell you've been purposefully aggravating your dear sister. Before, I don't think it occurred you to continue to do something for the sole purpose of aggravating her. But now you have. And you do it so often, you're acting like you get paid per incident. Natalie builds a tower. You knock it down. She screeches at you to not knock it down. You giggle. She builds another tower. You knock it down again. She screeches louder. You giggle louder. And Mommy hides in the closet with a King Size Twix Bar.

You like singing the ABCs. And in the "LMNOP" part, you say "emma pee". Your mother has the sense of humor of a seven-year-old boy, so obviously she finds this extremely funny.

So since you handled the transition to a toddler bed so well, I guess it's time to potty train you. A potty-trained kid is so much easier than a diapered kid, but a diapered kid is so much easier than a learning-to-be-potty-trained kid. And once we accomplish that, I think you'll be pretty well prepared to earn a living. Go get a job because someone's gotta pay for that gene therapy to implant you with the ability to pull up your own dang blanket.

Hugs and smooches,
Mommy & Daddy

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Headlines for August 9, 2014:

• CDC Chief Tom Frieden Confronts Ebola Crisis Cool and Collected
• ISIS Kills at Least 500 Yazidi in Iraq, Buries Some Alive: Reuters
• Riders Stuck on Joker's Jinx Roller Coaster at Six Flags America
• Hawaii's Big Island Struggles After Tropical Storm
• Netflix Tops HBO in Subscriber Revenue

July 2014 - Recap

I cannot (well, yes I can) believe how much you've changed in a month. You had your first set of swimming lessons in June and your second set in July. By the end of the second set, you were really comfortable putting your head under the water. But that was about it ... until a friend of mine we saw at the pool spent no more than five minutes with you one afternoon. After that, you were gliding in the water like an arrow, kicking your legs like a little frog. And not five minutes after that, you were using your arms to help propel you along. I practically had to pick my jaw up from the bottom of the pool. In my mind, I was all "That's all it TOOK? How come I never thought of that?!" You haven't figured out how to lift up your head while swimming, take a breath, and go back to swimming. But when not four weeks ago, you were terrified at the thought of putting your nose in the water, I'm not worried. And you're still really freaked out by the deep end, but, again, that's ok. The progress you made in just one month is super rad.

The power has been going out a lot this month. Nothing major, just lots of flickers. After one such flicker (that happened to turn off Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs - oh, the horror!), you looked at me and said "Well isn't THIS a fine how-do-you-do!" I almost did a perfect sitcom spit-take right on the couch.

You've been talking about homeschool a lot. You want to know what you're going to do (me: "Eat bugs"; you: "EWWW! Noooo!"), how we're going to do it (me: "One at a time"; you: "EWWW! Noooo!"), what we'll read (me: "How to Properly Prepare Caterpillars"; you: "EWWW! Noooo!"), where we'll go ("me: "a bug store"; you: "EWWW! Nooooo!"), etc. (Perhaps I need to rethink my curriculum choice.) Thankfully you don't seem to realize that I'm pretty panicky about the whole process. Being in charge of someone else's education is a fairly daunting thought (even if it IS just Kindergarden), but I assume we'll just figure it out as we go along.

You've been in full-on Big Sister Mode this month. Everything Charlie does aggravates you. Everything he says annoys you. Everything he touches is yours. It doesn't help that Charlie is simultaneously in full-on Pesky Younger Brother Mode. He has been legitimately aggravating you, annoying you, and messing with your things. But still. As a younger sibling myself, I submit he's doing exactly what he should be doing. He's showing his undying admiration for you by being a pain in the tush. I see no problem here. (Aunt KK would be more than happy to talk to you about how HARD being an older sister is and how ANNOYING younger siblings are.) Cuz I can't help ya, kid. Even if you ARE a fine how-do-you-do.

Hugs and smooches,
Mommy & Daddy

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Headlines for August 1, 2014:

• American Doctor With Ebola Able to Walk Into Georgia Hospital
• Abby Hernandez Saw Newspaper Reports About Her Disappearance While She Was Missing
• Netanyahu Says Israel Prepared to Continue Fighting Hamas in Gaza
• Class Is (Still) In: Why a Longer School Year May Not Help in Detroit
• President Obama: 'We Tortured Some Folks' After 9/11
• MTV turns 33! Reality has set in, and we miss those music videos

Month 32 - Recap

My sweet boy,

Well lookie who turned into a little fish this month? Natalie took swimming lessons for two weeks, so we've spent a lot of time at the pool. It took you about 2.2 seconds to realize how fun the pool was (and just for the record: you still hate baths, you still hate the hose, you still hate the fountains). But in the pool? You couldn't be happier just paddling around the shallow end, blubbering the water and telling everyone who'll listen that Batman likes to swim. 

The big debate this month is whether to try to potty train you first or convert your bed to a toddler bed first. Natalie was a stubbornly late potty trainer and converting her bed to a toddler bed was a disaster of epic proportions, so I'm a little hesitant to do either. I know you won't go to college still wearing a diaper and sleeping in a crib (and if you do, that's between you and your college roommate), so it's not like I have to get either done this second. But still. Not supporting the Luvs industry anymore sounds pretty rad.

I so appreciate that you haven't learned to lie yet. You tell me flat out when you do something bad. Natalie will come running to me, saying that you poked her eye with your toy tractor. I'll come to you and ask "Charlie, did you poke your sister in the eye with your toy tractor?" You look at me with a be-dimpled smile and proudly say "Yep!" I talk to you about how we don't poke people in the eye (with a toy tractor or anything) and you (of course) ask "Why?" I explain to you how it hurts, how eyeballs are delicate, and how you have to keep your toys to yourself. (I often forget that I have to teach you the proper way to act. It makes sense to ME that you shouldn't poke someone in the eyeball, but I have to explain the specifics to you.) I see the lightbulb go off and you're all "Oh! Ok! I sowwy, Natty." Then you hug her. I make you guys hug after apologies. You've been driving Natalie up the wall recently, so you've given her a lot of hugs this month. 

It has come to my attention that you don't like looking handsome. Your hair can get pretty crazy after you wake up in the mornings, and while I don't do much to it during the week, Daddy makes it a point to tame your coif before we leave for church. From the other side of the house, I can hear you whining as Daddy wets your hair a bit (see above: hates all water except swimming pools) and combs the crazy away. He comments on how handsome you look and then I hear you pout-stomp (you have a distinct walk when you're a pouty-pants) down the hall towards me. You have a look of sheer disgust on your face as you say "I don't WIKE [like] wooking [looking] handsome. No handsome for me." You're the second most handsome fella I know, so whether with crazy hair or a well-groomed 'do, too bad for you.

Hugs and smooches,

Mommy & Daddy

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Headlines for July 8, 2014:

• Convicted Ex-New Orleans Mayor to Be Sentenced
• Hundreds Line up for Legal Pot Sales in Washington
• Dad Charged With Son's Hot Car Death Told Family How to Collect Life Insurance, Authorities Say
• Vials of Smallpox Virus Found in Unapproved Maryland Lab
• 22 Stranded for Hours on Six Flags Magic Mountain Ride

June 2014 - Recap

Oh my precocious little pumpkin,
You had your first swimming lessons this month. The pool is literally across the street from our house, so there's no reason why we shouldn't go. And I'm pretty insistent on you not drowning, so there's no reason why we shouldn't get you lessons. You were super pumped the day of your first lesson and it wasn't long before I realized this was going to a loooooong two weeks of lessons. Lots of things come easily to you, my precocious little peach. But, alas, swimming (or, more specifically, putting your face in the water without flipping your lid) does not. And because it does not, instead of practicing, you simply shrugged your shoulders and were all "Um, this is too hard. I'm not going to try." That went over with Daddy and me like a lead balloon. We don't care if you ever become an Olympic swimmer, we don't care if swimming isn't your life-long destiny, we don't care if it turns out you don't like swimming at all. We DO care if you give up. Which you will not. So we pressed on.

(Side note: the second I saw you give up, my mind fast-forwarded to this fall. I told Daddy "So yeah, I can't possibly homeschool her if she's going to give up at the first sign of something hard. I will most assuredly lose (what's left of) my ever-loving mind if she pulls that nonsense this fall, and I will throw her on the nearest school bus I see.")

We stayed at the pool after swim lessons most days so you could keep trying to put your face in the water. After three lessons, you were successful (and you got a Lego toy as Bribe #1). Then we moved on to trying to get you to put your whole head under the water. I pulled the Mean Mommy Card and refused to let you play in the water after your lessons until you went under the water. On the last day of your lessons, you unknowingly but safely and successfully submerged yourself in the water (you carefully stepped down into the deep end, toward your teacher, while wearing a life vest - but you had no idea that you'd go under the water). To say you were mad and freaked out would be an epic understatement. And after your lesson, you were dunked a few times by a friend of mine. To say you were mad and freaked would again be an understatement. But I swear it was those three times that made you realize that going under water wasn't fatal, because not 10 minutes after your last dunk, you held on to the hand rail at the shallow end and shoved yourself under the water (and you got an Elsa doll as Bribe #2). I usually don't make a habit of bribing you with toys to do something, but if I had to bust out a few bribes to get you to realize that giving up is NOT an option and working hard IS an (or, the only) option, so be it. Bribing you wasn't one of my proudest Mom Moments, but seeing the look on your face after you went under the water by yourself IS one of them.

You've been asking some wackadoo questions this month. This includes, but is not limited to:

• Have you ever been shocked by lightning?
• Have you ever gotten stuck in a cactus?
• Have you ever gotten eaten by a shark?
• Have you ever drowned?
• Have you ever fallen down a flight of stairs?
• Have you ever gotten stung by 100 bees?
• Have you ever gotten hit by a car?
• Have you ever fallen down a manhole?
• Have you ever fallen off a mountain?
• Have you ever broken a bone?
• Have you ever fallen into a fire?
• Have you ever hit your head with a hammer?

And every time I answer 'no' (except to the broken bone - yes, just one), you explain that your imaginary friend Eda ("Eeeda") has had all of those things happen to her. I keep trying to tell you to have Eda be more careful, that six-or-seven-or-eight-year-olds (or however old Eda is on a certain day) shouldn't be in situations where there is the potential to get stuck in a cactus or get eaten by a shark. I mean, where are these girl's parents?! Your answer is something along the lines of "I try to tell her, Momma, but that girl just doesn't listen!" It's a rough life, being your imaginary friend and all.

You've been dealing with a lot of Kid Injustice this month, and you're more than willing to express your displeasure. Waiting your turn? The NERVE. Sharing? The HORROR. Being patient? How can we ASK such things? Brushing your teeth? AGAIN? But we asked you to do it YESTERDAY! So while you've done more than your fair share at pouting this month, I'm pretty sure that it's just a phase. Because you weren't like this last month. Maybe the summer heat is affecting your ability to be patient and kind. I can't say I blame you. Florida Summers make me crabby, too.

You're now officially five-and-a-half. For months now, you've been talking about your birthday, making birthday present lists, and asking about particular decorations you want for your birthday (a pinata, pink plates, smiley face balloons, strawberry cake, etc). You love that you're only six months away from your birthday. To an adult, getting to the halfway point to a birthday doesn't usually register. But to a kid (or maybe just you?), the countdown is on. And your little party planner self is taking the reins. So party on, my peach.

Hugs and smooches,
Mommy & Daddy

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Headlines for July 1, 2014:

• Madeleine McCann Probers Interview 'People of Interest' in Her Disappearance
• KISS, Def Leppard Enlist 2 Veterans as Roadies
• Waffle House wants us to boycott Belgian waffles for Team USA in the World Cup
• Metal Fillings No More: Lasers Used to Rebuild Teeth
• Tropical Storm Arthur forms off Florida coast
• North Dakota coffee shop has no employees, uses honor system

Month 31 - Recap

You've been quite the Momma's boy this month. And I'm complaining about this 0% - I'll gladly take all the extra snuggles, extra kisses, and extra time reading to you before bedtime. But with this Momma's Boy Thing going on, it's meant more tears when I drop you off at Sunday School ("I miss you when you at big chuh'ch"), an inability to go anywhere (even the playroom) without me coming along, and a face-crumpling sadness when you're in your crib for bedtime. When Daddy puts you in your crib, you poke out your bottom lip and say "I miss Mommy. *big sigh*" (Though on the flip side, when I put you in your crib, you say "I miss Daddy"). You're pretty bummed out at night in your crib. We come into your room no fewer than three times at night to calm you down and reassure you that we're not going anywhere and we're not doing anything fun in the living room without you. You're rarely convinced (and for good reason - Daddy and I bust out the ice cream and chocolate after you and Natalie go to bed.)

You've graduated from calling Natalie "Na-nee" to "Na-nee-wee". It's precious. Know what's NOT precious? That you have YET to graduate from screaming like a crazy person when bath time rolls around. All I have to do is SAY the word 'bath' and you immediately start panicking, whining, and crying. You've also graduated from liking the water coming out of the hose to being deathly afraid of the water coming out of the hose. You'll come around eventually, right?

You like to pretend to go to work. Like, right now, you're walking around the house with the UNO Moo barn announcing to the empty living room that you're going to work ('woke'). And that you're going to 'pway wiff my fwends'. If getting a job means that you can make for being a total mooch for the past two-and-a-half years, then I'm all for it. I bet the salary for someone rolling UNO Moo animals across the floor is pretty sweet.

You and Natalie have been quite the bickering duo this month. She wants you to play a certain way; you don't like that way. She only wants you to chase her; you only want her to chase you. She wants to play Barbies; you want to play trucks. She draws a lot; you walk on her drawings a lot. I'm trying to explain that you two don't necessarily have to play the same thing, that playing NEAR each other is fine, too. Neither of you thinks that idea is acceptable. Know what I say to that? Hmph.

This hasn't been the easiest month. It seems like everybody's nerves are shot and the insufferable humidity certainly isn't helping our dispositions (or hair). Nobody ever said this parenting gig was easy, but I'm quite sure this rough month won't cause you to end up on a therapist's chair when you're older. This is where God's grace fills in the (many) missing pieces I have in my quest to have a more gentle (and less yell-y and easily annoyed) disposition. I'm on a mission to continually point you (and myself) to Him, because, duh, He's way better than I am.

Hugs and smooches,
Mommy & Daddy

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Headlines for June 9, 2014

• Married Couple Guns Down Three, Including Two Las Vegas Police Officers
• Tracy Morgan Improving, But Still In Critical Condition After Weekend Car Crash
• FBI Awaiting Confirmation of Hezbollah Leader's Death
• Down and Out: Cantor to Resign as House Majority Leader
• What, Me Fat? Most Americans Don't Think So, Poll Finds

May 2014 - Recap

My sweet girl,
So Daddy and I have officially decided that I'll homeschool you this fall. (In case you're wondering, my 2013 self is having a heart attack right now.) I never EVER thought I'd be a homeschool mom. I never thought I had the patience, knowledge, or ability to do it. But I've been slowly feeling God telling me I need to do it - at least TRY it. I can't attribute it to anything or anyone other than God because me? I've been giddy for the past few years every time I see a school bus because IT WAS ALMOST YOUR TURN AND I COULDN'T WAAAAAAIT!

I also didn't want to do it because homeschool kids are WEIRD, right? And they have no SOCIAL life, right? And homeschool moms are always PATIENT and always SMART and always LOVE being around their kids ALL DAY with NO BREAKS, right? I'm not sure where these notions came from, but I'm embarrassed at how strong my opinions were on something I knew very little (if not nothing) about.

Kids in general are just weird. They're weird in public school, weird in private school, weird in homeschool. Some grow out of their weirdness, some (like your mother) have to embrace it well into adulthood. And I've discovered that socialization won't be an issue with you. There are enough play groups, homeschool classes, and activities that it'll probably be more "We can't do it all" as opposed to "What is there to do?". Patience is not my strong point, I'm only moderately intelligent, and honestly, the thought of being around children 24/7 makes me a little nervous. And then grace swoops in. His grace will fill in missing pieces in my patience puzzle ... His grace will take over when I'm trying to teach something that's over my head (though I think I can handle kindergarten without too much trouble ... hopefully) ... and His grace will give me the ability to extend grace to my children when we're all getting on each other's nerves.

Once I accepted the challenge, I began to realize how neat this opportunity really is. Of course, I'm completely overwhelmed at the sheer volume of options there are and have driven myself crazy trying to figure out how to do it, but I'm excited. I'm really, really excited. Daddy and I have both agreed that we'll take this year by year and evaluate where we stand. You may go to public school sometime in the future; you might be a homeschool high school graduate. Who knows? Well, I know one person Who knows ...

I like the idea of getting to teach you. I'm not a teacher by any means, but I figure I know you better than anyone and that alone makes me at least a little equipped to teach you effectively. I know what makes you tick, I know what infuriates you. I know what you're passionate about, I know what you need to focus on. I know how important it is to start our day off right, so we'll do a Bible study before we do anything else. I know that during the day, for every hour or so doing something that's NOT art, you need a half-hour or so to draw or color. It relaxes you, it centers you, it refreshes you. I know that you get frustrated if you can't do something exactly right the first time, and I'll factor that into teaching you new concepts. I know that you like hands-on activities, so I'll be sure to have a lot of those ready for you. I know you're a visual learner, so math will be full of blocks, shapes, and other manipulatives. I know I'm the least interested in history, but I refuse to pass that opinion on to you. I know that you like to know what's going on, so I'll be sure to let you know the day's plan while we eat breakfast. I know that you like being told specific steps to follow, and that creativity doesn't always come easy for you, so I'll work on encouraging your creative side. I know that you like cuddles, so if in the middle of a lesson, you're in clear need, we'll stop the lesson and cuddle on the couch. We'll do what works for US.

I want you to love learning. I want you to be excited about the world. I want you to be passionate. I want you to be selfless. But more than anything, I want you to follow God's path for your life. Whether it's a doctor, lawyer, artist, singer, missionary, homeschooling momma, chef, or anything in between, I want you to know the satisfaction that comes from being in line with His will. The satisfaction with the decision to homeschool you has been immense. I'm excited to spend this time with you. I'm excited to teach you new things. I'm excited to watch the light bulb go off when you figure out a hard problem. I'm excited to learn right along side you. I'm excited about doing school in our jammies.

Hugs and smooches,
Mommy & Daddy

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Headlines for June 1, 2014:

• 2 Kids Injured as Colorado Bounce House Blows Away
• 'Taliban Dream Team': Who are the 5 prisoners traded for Bergdahl's freedom?
• New U.S. Ambassador to Switzerland Swears Oath on an E-Reader
• Ann B. Davis, Housekeeper Alice on 'The Brady Bunch,' Dies at 88
• Measles Cases in U.S. Spike to Highest Level in 20 Years

Month 30 - Recap

Dude, I am worn slap OUT by your antics this month. I totally understand that the 'why' stage is a constant barrage of questions. But you, sir, seemed to have taken it to a whole 'nother level. I was just talking to Bob, saying how I don't remember this stage being so exhausting with Natalie. Bob laughed and said "Of course it wasn't ... Natalie didn't have an older sibling to egg her on!" Ah yes. The egging. Your sister is an expert egger. She encourages you to ask questions because she sees how totally exasperated I get after, oh, I don't know ... hour 378 of the constant why's.

Here's just a smattering of the craziness that goes on 24/7 'round these parts:
You: Yook, Momma! A po-weece [police] car!
Me: That's right, buddy! A police car!
You: Why?

You: (after pulling into the driveway) We hooooooome!
Me: Yep, we're home!
You: Why?

You: Yook, Momma! I have Buzz Yightyear!!
Me: Hi Buzz!
You: Why?

You: Yook, Momma! I have on a funny beht [belt]. (You stretched out my kitchen tongs to fit around your plump little belly)
Me: (laughing)
You: Why?

You: Oooh, a big twuck [truck]!
Me: Oh yeah, it's huge!
You: Why huge?
Me: Um, because it's not small?
You: Why not small?
Me: (my brain has melted so I'm absolutely floundering at this point) Um, because it's big?
You: (grinning, TOTALLY aware of what you're doing) Whywhywhywhywhywhywhy???? Whymommawhymommawhymomma?
Me: Oh gracious. Charlie ... please, man ...
Natalie: (cackling like a dang hen from the back seat) Charlie! Ask her another question!! Momma's going crazy! This is FUN!

You also say you're going to ask Daddy if my answer is ever "I'm not sure" or "I don't know". See, now that would totally work on many topics of conversation, like engineering, the Bible, Tulane, the Army, how to make the perfect omelet, etc. But some of the things you say you're going to ask Daddy about are things that Daddy just can't help you with.

Case in point:

You: Where dat guy goin'? (referring to a guy walking down Hwy 90)
Me: Hmm, I'm not sure, bud.
You: *hmph* I ask Daddy.
Um, yeah, Daddy doesn't know either.

You: Where dat car goin'? (referring to the car next to us at a red light)
Me: Maybe to the grocery store, maybe to the dry cleaners, maybe to the gas station. I don't know for sure.
You: Oh well. I just ask Daddy yater [later].
DADDY DOESN'T KNOW THIS EITHER!

You also point out every restaurant we've ever eaten at and ask what we got to eat.

You: Went dere!! (pointing at a local breakfast place)
Me: Yep, we did!
You: What I get?
Me: Pancakes.
You: What Nattie get?
Me: A breakfast sandwich and hashbrowns.
You: What Daddy get?
Me: An omelette
You: What Mommy get?
Me: Eggs and hashbrowns.

(the next day)
You: Went dere! (pointing at the same local breakfast place)
Me: Yep, we sure did!
You: What I get?
Me: Pancakes.
You: What Nattie get?
Me: A breakfast sandwich.
You: What else?
Me: What else what, buddy?
You: What else Nattie have?
Me: Um ....
You: Hass-bwowns!!

Clearly, if I don't give the EXACT answers every time, you grill me until you get the answer(s) that satisfy you. THIS EXHAUSTS ME TO NO END.

And every (e.v.e.r.y.) time we pass by the bowling alley, we have the same conversation:
You: Bo dere!
Me: That's right! That's where we went bowling!
You: Bo 'gain?
Me: Yep, we'll go again.
You: Why?

Daddy had an idea to turn this constant-question-thing back around on you. Instead of answering why, we say "Why do YOU think, Charlie?" Your response? "Ummm, I don't fink." You are such a punk.

I'm sure you did other things this month. I just don't have any more functioning brain cells to figure out what they were. (Now you say, "Why?")

Just for the record, you still hate baths and all things vegetable-y.

Just for the record, I am still hopelessly and proudly wrapped around your grubby and sticky little finger.

Hugs and smooches,
Mommy & Daddy

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Headlines for May 9, 2014:

• U.S. Experts Arrive in Nigeria to Hunt Girls Taken by Boko Haram
• Groomsmen Leave Wedding Party to Rescue Fisherman
• Don't Call Me Grandma: Births to 'Older' Moms on the Rise
• Dr. Dre: Will He Be the World's First Billionaire Rapper?
• Boston Bombing Suspect ‘Begged for Rest’ During Questioning After Nearly Dying

April 2014 - Recap

My sweet little stinker,
This has been a rough month. I do believe both you and Charlie have made a secret Smithkid agreement to act like big ol' Whiny McBadAttitudes. Your fussing this month has included, but is not limited to complaining about getting wet ... while you were in the bathtub. Complaining about getting wet ... when you JUST asked me to spray you with the hose. Complaining about bugs ... when we're outside ... in Florida ... in the spring. Complaining that Charlie was playing with your Barbie ... after you gave him the Barbie to play with. Complaining that we never buy you ANYthing EVER as long as you LIVE ... after we just bought you some craft supplies. Pure lunacy.

You graduate preschool next month. Before I had kids, I thought that any graduation ceremony for someone other than a high school senior or a college senior was ridiculous. But now that I have kids? My thought have changed a wee bit. Yes, it's still silly ... but it's SO CUTE WHEN IT'S YOUR OWN KID! You took your graduation pictures, complete with cap and gown and fake diploma. It may or may not have been the most adorable thing on the planet (spoiler: it was). And your teacher said that you and your class will all be wearing caps and gowns for your graduation in a few weeks. SO FUN. AND YES, SO SILLY.

Speaking of school, we've had a good lesson in friendship this month. A little girl in your class has been being pretty mean to you and saying some rude stuff. You didn't know what to do (duh, you're five), so you didn't do anything - you just kept playing with this little girl and she just kept being mean. It wasn't until your teacher mentioned it to me that we were able to work through it. We explained to you that you are NOT to be mean back to her but you do NOT need to play with someone who treats you badly. You couldn't wrap your mind around someone being purposefully mean, so it took a few days for you to understand what to do. Now every day, you tell me how she acted and what you did. And I'm proud as punch of you. You stood up for yourself without being mean.

Your ballet recital is also next month. I can't WAIT to see it. The girls in your class are all so cute and all have the attention span of, well, five- and six-year-old girls. But your teacher is such a sweetheart and has been working hard on teaching you girls the routine. I think these lessons have surprised you, in that you actually have to learn something and not just prance around to the Hokey Pokey or Skip to My Lou.

Daddy and I introduced you to The Cosby Show this month. Daddy and I have to approve all the kid shows you and Charlie watch (there are some seriously obnoxious kid shows out there. Stop it, Kid Show Producers!), and we have a small set of decent ones that we let you watch so it's not like we were looking for something non-annoying for you to start watching. But we figured that you'd get a kick out of watching The Cosby Show, particularly if either Rudy or Olivia is close to your age. Obviously you don't understand all the jokes, but you think Rudy and/or Olivia are so fun and find Bill Cosby's facial expressions hilarious. They are and they are. I love your great sense of humor. You're welcome for that, by the way.

Hugs and smooches,
Mommy & Daddy

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Headlines for May 1, 2014:

• New York Teen Accepted to All 8 Ivy League Schools Picks Yale
• Vet Allegedly Kept Family's Dog Alive for Experiments
• Actor Bob Hoskins Dead at 71
• 60 Teens Arrested After Senior Pranksters Break Into New Jersey School

Pensacola got hit with a record storm on Tuesday - here are some of the headlines from it:

• Portion of Scenic Highway has collapsed
• Manna Food Pantries may be a total loss after flood
• Gulf Breeze homes suffer sinkholes from floodwaters
• Gov. Rick Scott tours Pensacola
• State of Emergency in Escambia County; drowning reported

And then yesterday,

• Two inmates were killed and scores injured Wednesday, after an explosion at the Escambia County Jail.

To put it mildly, Pensacola has had a rough week.

Month 29 - Recap

My sweet Batman,
You have officially decided that you are, in fact, Batman. For a week or so, you kept calling yourself 'Matt-ban' but you eventually figured it out. Whenever Natalie wants to play 'Frozen' with you, you insist on being Batman. I've seen Frozen approximately 298 times, and I'm quite sure Batman doesn't make so much as a cameo in the movie, but that doesn't matter to you (or to Natalie either). She's always Elsa and you're always Batman-Anna (Bat-manna ... ha!).

In addition to being Batman, you've also decided to whine and pout about EVERYthing. I'm no superhero expert, but I don't think part of Batman's costume includes a giant pair of Pouty Pants. I need to go back to Natalie's recap when she was your age to see if she turned into a whiny sourpuss at this age, too. Because DUDE, kid. Other than "I'm Batman!", your favorite phrases this month have been "Nooooo!", "Waaaaaaaah!", and "I caaaaaan't!". I don't think this is abnormal for a two-year-old; neither is my feeling that you're a giant goober for being such a whiny-face this month.

You liking baths was short lived. You're back to screaming like we're bathing you in fire ants. *sigh*

Natalie loves telling you the rules. And you finally feel it's high time for you to do the same to her. Case in point: If Natalie is playing with a toy that you want, you'll walk right over to her and try to take it. When Natalie protests, you say "Share, Nattie!" And when Natalie says (screeches) to you "Charlie, no! I'm still playing with it! You can play with it when I'm done.", you say "Kind tone, Nattie! Be kind!" This, clearly, only results in tears from both of you, but it (secretly) makes me giggle.

You rub my back when we hug. You say "I yuhve you, Mommy" a lot. You pat my head when I have a headache. You latch onto my leg when I'm in the kitchen. You are so good for my heart, my sweet bear. And I can sleep easy knowing that if I ever come across the Joker, I'll be safe with you.

Hugs and smooches,
Mommy & Daddy

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Headlines for April 9, 2014:

• At Least 20 Injured After Stabbings at Franklin Regional High School in Pennsylvania
• UConn Defeats Kentucky to Win Men's NCAA Basketball Championship
• '19 Kids & Counting' Star Jill Duggar is Engaged
• New Underwater Signals Detected in Flight 370 Search Area
• Zoo Names Polar Bear Cubs in Germany - Nela and Nobby
• Low Wages, Long Commutes = Stressed Out Workers

March 2014 - Recap

My sweet peach,
So the Big Event of 2014 happened this month. Frozen came out on DVD. I specifically avoided taking you to the store in the weeks leading up to it because I didn't want you to know when it was getting released. Once I told you it wasn't in the theaters any more, you asked when it was coming out on DVD. I casually mentioned (lied) that it probably wouldn't be until the summer. And then we'd have to wait for it to come out on Redbox, which would mean it could take even longer for us to see it again. You seemed bummed, but you were stoked that you would EVENTUALLY see the movie again. The FedEx guy delivered it after dinner the day it was released. I handed the package to you and you looked totally confused. And after you opened it up, it took a good five seconds for you to register what you were actually holding. You screamed. You yelled. You laughed. You hugged the case and jumped up and down while tears streamed down your face. I haven't seen you that excited in a looooooong time.

I love listening to you read. You read your first 'big' book this month. It had 40ish pages. I was so proud of you for reading it all. You looked pretty glassy-eyed when you were done, but you had a big smile on your face when you closed the back cover. Thankfully (mercifully), in this case, it was a cute book. Because a lot of early reader books? Snore pie with yawn sauce.

The weather's warmed up a bit so I've thrown (not really) you and Charlie outside a lot to play. Our rental house is on a fairly big piece of land, so there's lots of places to explore. One afternoon, I was pulling weeds and you and Charlie wanted me to play with you. I told you I would once I was done, and instead of going off to play until I was done, you two sat rightbyme as I pulled weeds. I gave you both the side-eye and said "Go do something! Go explore the woods!" You looked flabbergasted and said "For real? We can go over there?" I said "Um, YES! Of course! Go! Get out of here!" So you and Charlie explored the undeveloped part of the property, looking for bugs and sticks and leaves and dirt. You jumped on every tree stump and pile of sticks that you could find and belted out songs from Frozen for almost an hour. Charlie dutifully followed after you and threw sticks at the trees. And it was so good.

You've started helping me in the kitchen a lot this month. You've asked me for a while now to help, and while I let you from time to time, I realized I say "No, baby - it's okay. I've got it!" a lot more than I should. Yes, it takes longer when you help, and yes, there's a lot more clean up required, but you're certainly not going to learn anything (and you'll probably stop asking if you can help) if I keep saying 'no'. So I've said 'yes' a lot this month. You chopped up an entire box of mushrooms by yourself for dinner one night. It took about 30 minutes, but you didn't care - you were just proud that you had helped. Daddy made sure to compliment how yummy the mushrooms were when we ate dinner. He's such a good daddy.

You took your cap and gown pictures today for pre-school. I can't even ...

Hugs and smooches,
Mommy & Daddy

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Headlines for April 1, 2014:

• Pessimism Grows as Search for Missing Malaysia Flight MH370 Drags On
• Cheetos Marks April Fools' With 'Cheeteau' Fragrance
• NY Student Accepted at All 8 Ivy League Schools
• Man Spends Month Offering Random Acts of Kindness
• When Did GM Know It Had An Ignition Switch Problem?
• Death toll from Washington mudslide hits 24

Month 28 - Recap

You love giving High Fives. You especially love giving them Up High and Down Low. And even though you're usually Too Slow, you still insist on playing the game no fewer than 384 times a day. We were stopped at a red light a few weeks ago and we were next to a service vehicle that had a flashing light on top of it.
You: Yook [Look], Momma! A yight [light]! A YIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!! (You're nothing, if not enthusiastic).
Me: I see it! Cool, huh?
You: Yight up high.
Me: The light IS on top of the truck. You're right! (In case you have a two-year-old one day, they want you to acknowledge and repeat everything they say. Everything. They. Say. E. V. E. R. Y. T. H. I. N. G.)
You: Yight up high. Not down yow [low]. TOO S'YO!!!! [slow]

Hysterical.

You also love playing Tic Tac Toe. And by 'playing Tic Tac Toe', I, of course, mean that you love taking the magnetic Os and sticking them on your fingers like rings and taking the Xs and stacking them in a pile and trying to balance it on your arm. Surprisingly (not), this infuriates your sister, who simply cannot IMAGINE why a two-year-old cannot grasp the proper way to play Tic Tac Toe. Oh, and you call it Tac Toe Toes. That, not surprisingly, makes your sister giggle.

You feel most words that end in an N should instead end in a D or a T, and if a word starts with an S, the S is completely optional. Down is downt, whine is whine-t (whining is whine-ding), on is on-t. It's hard to type out how you pronounce an S word without saying the S, but I'll try: breathe out through your nose and simultaneously scrunch your nose like you smell something gross. Then say the word with out the S.

You were sitting on a basketball yesterday (because that's totally normal, right?) and after you fell off it (shocker!), you were sitting on the ground with your back to the basketball. You turned around, saw the basketball, smiled and said "Yook, Momma! I a snail! Yike [Like] Tuh-bo [Turbo]!" That you realized the basketball up against your back looked like a snail shell absolutely floored me. And you looked so tickled for coming up with it. I think you were probably bummed that it didn't make you as fast as a nitrous oxide-fueled snail, though.

This month you started asking the names of song titles and the words of certain lyrics. Which just further confirms that Christian radio is the way to go for our family. Even though you don't necessarily know what the titles or lyrics mean, I like not having to cringe when I tell you the answer. It's not like I think you and Natalie are never going to listen to secular music, but for the time being, while you're both still so impressionable, I want to fill your heads and hearts with music that's missing the drama/anger/adult behavior that seems to be so prevalent in a lot of secular music.

For the past few months, whenever you pitch a fit, I tell you to go to your room if you need to fuss. You don't stop fussing, but your shoulders slump and turn inward and you walk pitifully to your room. Thirty seconds later you come find me and tell me you've "stopped whine-ding". I know it won't always be that easy, but it cracks me up that it works for now.

You're such a fun kid to be around, full of demanding curiosity and unbridled silliness. My heart is full to overflowing with you and your delightful, albeit periodically whine-dy, spirit.

Hugs and smooches,
Mommy & Daddy

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Headlines for March 9, 2014:

• Toddler's FaceTime Saves Mom After Dog Bite
• Officials Investigate Stolen Passports Used on Missing Malaysia Airlines Flight 
• Jared Leto Thinks Jennifer Lawrence's Oscars Falls 'A Bit Of An Act'
• Rob Ford Shows Calculating Daylight Saving Time Is Hard
• Blood Test Might Predict Who Will Develop Alzheimer's

February 2014 - Recap

You started ballet this month. I have to admit, I had my reservations about the whole 'dance class' thing. I know I'm old-fashioned, but when you mentioned the idea of taking ballet class, I fast-forwarded to your recitals and had visions of those less-than-appropriate costumes that the girls sometimes wear (and the less-than-appropriate songs the girls sometimes dance to). It all makes me very uncomfortable. I was given the name of a local gal who teaches ballet and after talking to her on the phone, all my concerns disappeared. She assured me the girls either dance to classical music or to Christian music. And she said that for the recitals, the girls (younger and older) all wear appropriate costumes. Whew. You've only been to two classes, but you're a huge fan. The classes are held in what looks like a converted barn. It's right by the water, rustic and gorgeous. There are plenty of places for Charlie and I to explore while you're in class. I peek in periodically, and God bless your teacher and her teen-aged helpers - teaching five- and six-year-olds to dance ballet is not unlike herding cats. It's enormously precious.

You and Charlie had your first experience of being babysat by someone other than Bob and Pep. One of the hardest things about moving to Marianna was not being 10 minutes away from Bob and Pep. Daddy and I tried really hard to never abuse the proximity and  ask them to watch you two too much, but it was nice to get a fairly consistent date night. But when we moved, we had to adjust. I knew when we found a church, we'd get plugged in. And once we got plugged in, I'd feel comfortable asking around for babysitter recommendations. But it took us a lot longer to find a church than I was thinking it would. It wasn't until just before Christmas that we found it. We joined a small group in January and got connected with a wonderful group of people. I had offhandedly mentioned to one of the ladies in our group that Lee and I hadn't had a date in a while. Well, the next day, I got a call from both her and our group leaders, asking Lee and I to pick a day where they'd each come down to Marianna and watch you and Charlie so Daddy and I could have a date. This was definitely an answered prayer. Our group leaders drove down from Dothan and Daddy and I hightailed it to Panama City. Our friends said they had an awesome time with you and Charlie. They also said that if they looked up the word 'precocious' in the dictionary, they'd find a picture of you. He speaketh the truth-eth.

You are a Frozen fanatic. It's the latest Disney movie to come out and you've had Frozen on the brain since you saw it a few months ago. You'd love nothing more than to spend all day watching YouTube videos of the songs from the movie. [I have to admit, the movie is fantastic and the songs are incredible]. The movie comes out in a few weeks, and while I was thinking of putting it in your Easter basket, I probably won't be able to wait. Seeing genuine excitement on your face is such a joy of mine.

The Olympics were last month, and [being the Olympic fan I am], we watched a lot of the events. You now want to be a figure skater, a skiier, and an 'ice sweeper' [the curlers who smooth the ice]. I didn't break the news to you that we don't live in an area that's ripe with winter sports. I also haven't broken the news to you that the height of your parents might interfere with your desire to be a gymnast. Daddy and I are wonderstruck by your precocious little self, so dream big, baby girl.

Hugs and smooches,
Mommy & Daddy

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Headlines for March 1, 2014:

• Cold, Rain Forecast for Mardi Gras in New Orleans
• Photos Tell You Who Won Snake vs. Croc Battle
• Ukrainian Troops Stare Down Russian Forces
• Ohio student points finger like gun, is suspended
• New Jersey teen sues parents for financial support, claims she was 'kicked out' of home

Month 27 - Recap

Your pronunciation of certain words still leaves us in stitches. Currently, the way you say 'bunny rabbit' [buddy wabbip] and 'ketchup' [keppup] are our favorites. And as I was with Natalie, I'm impressed with how much you pick up without being taught. We were in some store the other day and you saw a globe. You flipped out and started hollering "Pan-tet uhf!!!" It took me a minute to figure out that you were saying 'planet earth', but once I did, you look so relieved and said "Momma, talk 'BOUT". So I said "That's what you were talking about?" And you squealed "YEP!" Conversations with two-year-olds often crack me up.

Every time we change you out of your jammies, you always want us to stop just after we pull your shirt over your head (but before your shirt is completely off) so you can run around the house and wear your shirt on your head like Shirt Hair. You get so excited to show Natalie how silly 'Na-ded Chaw-dee' [Naked Charlie] looks. And you being shirtless gives us an excellent opportunity to blubber and tickle your plump little belly.

And after you're in your jammies and ready for bed, you take a running leap into your rocking chair in your room and yell "MY CHAIR!" This, clearly, is Daddy's and my invitation to (gently, of course) sit on you and wonder where on earth (uhf) Charlie is. You squeal and start sounding mad, but when we get up, you whine for us to sit on you again. Because don't sit on me, but please sit on me. Makes perfect sense.

You're slowly starting to want to play games, namely matching games. You love watching Natalie play her games, and you're the perfect cheering section for when she finds a match. For you, though, I take it down a few notches and put just three cards in front of you and give you one card at a time to see if you can find the match among the three cards. A month or so ago, you didn't get what 'match' and 'the same' was. You just thought it was fun to throw the cards around the playroom (and I have to admit, I joined you and it was pretty fun). But just last week, it was like a switch flipped and you were a matching machine. When you made a match, I could see it in your eyes - you GOT it. You figured out what it meant. And you were so tickled with yourself.

You took your first non-hysterical bath this month. You still cried, but you didn't act like you were being bathed in molten lava. IT WAS SO AWESOME. It might have been a coincidence that you just happened to be in the bath with Natalie (you two have only bathed together three or four times - you hate baths so much that you're not much fun to be in a tub with), but Natalie looked so proud that she helped you be brave for your bath. I don't care if it was a coincidence or not, having someone you love feel proud over an accomplishment is a joyous thing. And not having your ears bleed because a certain be-dimpled munchkin insists on throwing fits in the ONE room where acoustics are so good (or bad?) is equally as joyous.

Hugs and smooches,
Mommy & Daddy

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Headlines for February 9, 2014:

• Georgia Prepares Heavily as South Expects Another Wintry Blow
• Clint Eastwood jumps into action, saves choking man
• G-olden Olympians: 40-somethings steal show
• US Suspect Possibly Targeted for Drone Attack
• Michelle Obama Gets All Motherly About Justin Bieber

January 2014 - Recap

Well, you first month as a five-year-old has gone and we've all survived. Which is impressive seeing as how you had the flu and pink eye between Christmas and your birthday. You were still pretty puny on your birthday, which was actually helpful, since I was fighting an upper respiratory infection at the same time and wasn't feeling all party plan-y.

I did, however, try the same spiel I did when you turned four: that five-(or four-)year-olds weren't allowed to whine. That it was illegal. You bought that nonsense for about two weeks when you were four. It lasted just as long (short) when you turned five. Those were a pretty sweet two weeks though.

You are Charlie are fully in 'Look at Me! Nooooo! Look at MEEEEEEE!' mode. If Daddy or I are talking to one of you, the other one acts a fool and tries to get our attention in any way possible. 'Any way possible' usually involves some combination of singing, dancing, jumping up and down, putting your face right in front of ours, yelling, whining, or crying. It's oh-so charming.

You had your kindergarten shots a few days ago. Back in August, when I was getting together all of your paperwork needed for you to go to VPK, I casually mentioned that you had to get shots in February. You immediatly started worrying, almost to the point of tears, that in FIVE MONTHS, you'd have to get a shot. I distinctly remember saying "Oh gosh, that's five whole months away. It's nothing to worry about now!" Well, it seems like those five months went by in the blink of an eye, because before I knew it, it was time. I hate to admit it, but I was wellllllll into my 20s before the thought of a needle didn't bring on an onslaught of tears. My TWENTIES. I cried at the dentist in my TWENTIES. So I totally get why you were worried. I tried to sweeten the deal by promising we would go anywhere you wanted afterward for a post-shot treat. That seemed to cheer you up, and you were fairly upbeat during the entire appointment. I have to say, I was FLOORED by how well you handled everything. You didn't cry a bit when the nurse pricked your finger to check your blood, and you only cried about four tears when you got your shots. And when the nurse gave you a Doc McStuffins 'Checkup Checklist', complete with stethoscope stickers, you were the happiest kid ever. And I made good on my promise - because you got two shots, you got two doughnuts (excellent choice of a treat, by the way) from the amazing doughnut/frozen yogurt place in town. Charlie and I also rewarded ourselves with two doughnuts, too, in case you were wondering. We suffer together; we rejoice together. And that was some mighty tasty rejoicing.

You continue to write sweet notes and color sweet picture (you call the combination of the two 'notey pictures'). Your latest notey picture says the following:

Dear God Thank
You For Giving
You One And Only
Son Jesus And
Thank You For
Diying on The
Cross

I cannot beGIN to tell you how precious this is. I love that you know about God, and how God sent His Son to die for us. Your enviable innocence and childlike faith is a treasure, and I promise you I'll do my best to always point you (and myself, for that matter) to Him. [And I love, love, love that you put 'diying'. Do It Yourself-ers for the win!]

Hugs and smooches,
Mommy & Daddy

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Headlines for February 1, 2014:

• Christie going on offensive about Bridgegate accusation  
• School Lunch Lady Had Hit List, Police Say
• Daily Double Hunter: Contestant's 'Jeopardy!' strategy riles viewers
• How the World Has Changed in the 10 Years Since Facebook
• Common Core's high costs have states rethinking federal program

Month 26 - Recap

My darling boy,
One of your current favorite games is playing 'jail' (or, 'dail', since you're not a fan of Js). This rousing game involves me (or Daddy) sitting on the couch with our feet propped up on the coffee table. You crawl under our legs and pop through between them, effectively in 'dail'. You're trapped by our legs and you try to wiggle and grunt your way free. Sometimes you're the jailbird, where you escape from our clutches and run around the house screaming in glee. Other times, just to remind you that I'm stronger than you (for the time being at least), I don't let you break free (at least not on purpose) and you end up pouting and whining. It makes me smile.

I love hearing you talk. You're starting to put some three-and-four-word sentences together (so feel free to nip in the bud your favorite one-word sentence of "STOP".) There are many things you say so well, and then there are things that just reduce me to giggles when you say them.

• rectangle: wept-anguh
• oval: o-bull
• yogurt: yogurk
• dinosaur: dy-do
• green: geesh
• Ratatouille: waa-too-ee
• teeth: teesh
• Magformers: muh-FAWM-uhs
• Christmas: kiss-biss
• movie: mooney
• puzzle: puzz-null
• Silent Night (your go-to lullaby since you were born): ho-nigh [Holy Night]
• school: coos
• ketchup: kep-bup

Just like your sister ended her last month by being super sick, you did, too. Just after she got over her bout with the flu and pink eye, you became really whiny and pitiful, walking around the house saying your head hurt ('heh huwt'). I knew something was wrong, especially when you kept up a low-grade fever for a few days. And let's not forget the three straight nights where you got approximately 11 minutes of sleep total. I slept with you on the couch, we (which quickly turned into just Daddy) slept with you in our bed, we slept in your glider, we slept on the floor right by your crib. You would sleep for about 20 seconds, we thought we were home free, then you'd jolt awake and start whimpering. You'd flail, you'd kick, you'd roll over, you'd flip, you'd flop, you were so miserable. I took you to the doctor (because I was sure you had an ear infection) but he said your ears looked fine. Fast forward two days and I took you to Urgent Care in Dothan because, again, I KNEW something was wrong. The doctor took one look in your ears and said "Oh yeah, definitely a double ear infection." He also diagnosed me with an upper respiratory infection. You and I are just starting to feel better. Which means that now Daddy is sick. MERCY.

One of my New Year's resolutions is to praise my way through hard circumstances. I often enjoy a good pity party, but in reality, it serves no purpose. Finding things to be thankful for doesn't always come naturally; it's a skill that I must practice and perfect. It's a conscious decision to be thankful when you don't feel thankful. Has it been awful that we've been sick, non-stop, for more than two weeks? You betcha. Has it taken every ounce of my being not to lose my noodle? Yep (although my noodle is still precariously close to being lost on a daily basis). Is it fair that Natalie was sick on her birthday? Of course not. But you know what's awesome? You and Natalie weren't sick at the same time. Daddy and I weren't sick at the same time. There have been plenty of new Christmas toys, movies, and books to occupy the healthy members of Team Smith. I've had some serious cuddle time with both you and Natalie. And let's not forget that Angry Bird graham crackers were BOGO at Winn Dixie (that's your current favorite snack). There is always something to be thankful for, my boy. It might be small, it might be gigantic - it doesn't matter. What matters is that you don't dwell on the bad stuff. Fix your eyes on the blessings. You, my sweet bear, are what my eyes are often fixed on. While yours are often fixed on Angry Bird graham crackers.

Hugs and smooches,
Mommy & Daddy

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Headlines for January 9, 2014:

• Bullock, DeGeneres win People's Choice Awards
• Gabby Giffords: Skydive is my way of saying 'I'm alive'
• Rodman Apologizes for Outlandish Interview, Admits He Was Drinking
• Former NFL Player, Todd Williams, Found Dead
• 2 dead after Navy helicopter crashes near Virginia coast
• Texas firefighter uses beer to extinguish truck tire blaze

20 Questions from a Five-Year-Old

Five-year-olds are funny people.

1. What is your favorite color? Pink (Yellow/Yellow)
2. What is your favorite toy? My scooter (My dollhouse/Fishing rod)
3. What is your favorite fruit? Peaches (Grapes/Apples and strawberries and oranges)
4. What is your favorite TV show? Bubble Guppies (Big Big Friend/Little Einsteins)
5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? Hot dog and French fries (Turkey and cheese/Cheese)
6. What is your favorite outfit? My 'party clothes' [your black shirt with sequins and your sparkly black pants] (My soup shirt [that says Miso Cute]/Shirt and pants)
7. What is your favorite game? Tag (Candy Land/Hungry Hungry Hippos)
8. What is your favorite snack? Angry Bird graham crackers (Grapes/Granola bar)
9. What is your favorite animal? Unicorn (Doggie/Doggies)
10. What is your favorite song? Strangely Dim (Hark the Herald Angels Sing/Silent Night)
11. What is your favorite book? Fancy Nancy and the Loose Tooth (Skippy Jon Jones in the Doghouse/Moo Baa La La La)
12. Who is your best friend? Lelia, Miley, Allie (Kendall/Eliana)
13. What is your favorite cereal? Chex Mix [not really a cereal, but whatever] (Honey Nut Cheerios/Banana and milk cereal)
14. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Ride my scooter (Play ball/Play ball)
15. What is your favorite drink? Lemonade (Lemonade/Water)
16. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas (Christmas/Easter)
17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? Lauren Bear (Lauren Bear/Elephant and Lauren Bear)
18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? PB&J, gummy vitamins, and a glass of milk (Cereal/Banana)
19. What do you want for dinner on your birthday? Pizza (Pizza/Blueberries)
20. What do you want to be when you grow up? A gymnast [that she comes from incredibly tall parents, I'll leave it up to her to discover that she probably doesn't have a future of being less than 5' tall] (A chef/A princess)

2013 - Year End Review

Happy 5th Birthday, my darling love.

How has it already been five years that you caused us to miss the 2008 Tax Break by 15 hours (in case you were wondering, no, Daddy and I will never ever let you live that down)?

Top 10 Things You Love:

1. Art (crayons, pens, pencils, paint - you don't discriminate)
2. Singing
3. Making up your own jokes (my personal favorite: What do horses do before they take a bath? Get neeeeiiiiighhhhhh-ked.)
4. Reading
5. Playing with Charlie
6. Pizza Fridays
7. Parks
8. Commercials on Nick Jr (which annoys me to no end ...)
9. School
10. Pink, purple, and orange (your current favorite colors)

Top 10 Things You Don't Love:

1. Beans
2. Loud noises
3. Toilets that flush automatically
4. Loud hand dryers in public restrooms
5. Bad guys in movies. At the first notion of a bad guy, you loudly declare that "this is the worst movie in the history of the world."
6. Any change in routine. You brushing your teeth before Charlie brushes his? Oh no. NOT. HAPPENING. 
7. Eye drops for pink eye
8. Coming up with ideas to entertain yourself on your own
9. Yogurt
10. When Charlie says the same thing over and over and over (which he does a LOT)

Top 10 Things You're Good At:

1. Reading pretty much anything put in front you
2. Spelling. That you know how to spell big words absolutely floors me
3. Writing. You write page after page of sweet notes to people you love
4. Making Charlie laugh
5. Bossing Charlie around (this, however, does not make Charlie laugh)
6. Eating. You may not like everything on your plate, but you always eat the required Courtesy Bite. 
7. Jumping to conclusions (and subsequently falling apart). If we're playing before bed and I say it's time to get your jammies on, you disolve into a puddle of tears because you think that we won't get to play anymore. If you would just ASK if we could play more after you get your jammies on, you'd discover that 90% of the time, the answer is yes. Or if we're playing catch, and Charlie throws the ball to me, you immediately pout and grouss and say "Now I'm NEVER going to get the ball! I'm never going to get to play!" Dramatic much?
8. Singing. All the time. 
9. Creating your pretend sisters. Currently there's Jesse (she's two months and only an inch long), Alaska, Abaska, and Ita (Ita's been around since you were two or three). Alaska and Abaska can do things that you're not allowed to do (like eat ice cream for dinner).
10. Riding your bike. You've decided that you're ready to ditch your training wheels. We'll see if there are any visits to the ER in 2014.

Top 10 Things You're Not Good At:

1. Remaining unpanicky when things don't go your way. You go from zero to FREAKING OUT in 0.1 seconds.
2. Differential equations.  Five years, going strong.  
3. Being humble. It's funny, you hardly brag at all about the things you're truly good at (like reading, writing, and spelling). You brag about knowing things that, in reality, you know very little about. "I know everything about doctors and dentistses." [Yes, I typed that correctly. d-e-n-t-i-s-t-s-e-s. I believe not pronouncing the word correctly implies that you do not, in fact know everything about it.] 
4. Getting your clothes right-side-out after they're inside-out. When I ask you to do it, you give me the same exasperated response as if I had just asked you to smell a color or taste a number.
5. Sitting still. You are so squirmy and you change positions every 2.2 nanoseconds.
6. Trying new foods. Once we can GET you to do it, you're all good. But getting you to that point can be dicey at times.
7. Not giving up. Ah, yes. You get this incredibly undesirable quality from me. If you can't figure it out the first time, you pitch a fit and declare you'll NEVER be able to do . EVER. 
8. Keeping a secret. "Charlie, I will NOT tell you you're getting a train table for your birthday." *sigh*
9. Cooking me dinner. 
10. Getting your own ice water. Oh, what I would GIVE to have a fridge with an ice-and-water dispenser in the door ...

From January 2013 to December 2013, you've gone from someone who hardly knew how to read a handful of words to someone who can read practically every kid book at the library. You've gone from someone who was fearful in new situations to someone who has from Day One, walked right into preschool like you've been doing it forever. You've also walked into (almost) each Sunday School class at every new church we've tried like a professional Sunday School attendee. This newfound confidence of yours is such an answered prayer.

You write notes to your friends. You draw pictures to let people know you're thinking about them. You comfort Charlie when he's upset. You call me the Best Cook Ever. You always ask Daddy how his day at work was. You are one of the most thoughtful souls I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.

You often get too big for your britches. I don't think that's unique to you; I think it's in the Four-Year-Old Handbook: YOU MUST ACT LIKE A BIG OL' SASSYPANTS AND BIG OL' KNOW-IT-ALL 24/7. I often struggle with what to let slide and what to bring to an immediate halt. I think that will be a common struggle in my Motherhood Walk - what to let slide and what to nip in the bud. I am thankful that you are, for the most part, a rule follower. It may take us telling you 9,392 times to get it through your know-it-all four-year-old head, but eventually you get the picture.

You are so like me when I was little (according to Bob) ... it is a truth that's both hilarious and humbling. I don't know at what point I decided to not a gigantic sassypants (I mean, I still am, but I try to be a social acceptable sassypants) but I'm assuming it wasn't at age four. Or five ... or six or seven or eight ... Your sassiness indicates feistyness. And it forever keeps me on my toes. You and I watch Food Network a lot during Quiet Time, and more than once, you've commented on the textures of your food, on the prominent flavors that come out of whatever we're having for dinner, on how the flavor of one food complements the color (yes, the color) of another food. I adore you and I love you with an indescribable fierceness.

You are a common theme in my prayers. I pray that your heart will be drawn to God at an early age, I pray that you'll have a Godly influence on your friends, I pray you'll find your worth in who He says you are and not who your peers say you are or aren't. I also pray that your sassiness won't get you beat up on the playground. You and I are similar in many ways and I pray that those similarities will bring us closer and not drive us apart. Daddy and I have the incredible honor of being your parents. I fall more in love with him when I see how gentle he is with you, how patient he is with you, how he is a total pushover for your precious smile and hilarious commentary. You change people, my girl. And I can assure you, you've changed me for the absolute better.

Hugs and smooches,
Mommy & Daddy

December 2013 - Recap

Well here we are. Your last month as the big 0-4. How on earth?

You had your Christmas program at preschool a few weeks ago. It was obscenly adorable. The older kiddos in Sunday School sang for the first half of the program; your preschool class sang (hollered? mumbled? cried?) for the second half. Knowing how (*ahem*) cooperative four-year-olds can be, your teachers had the excellent idea to have you guys sing along with a CD. Because if you didn't? It would be delightful music with a bunch of four-year-olds sounding like Charlie Brown's teacher. I couldn't get enough of you guys - all gussied up in your Christmas best, looking all adorable and festive, and being so silly and four. Most of the kids in your class (including you) loudly called to their respective parents (the acoustics were AWESOME in the sanctuary) and waved maniacally. You sang adorable songs, and while the intention was to do adorable hand motions to go along with the songs, most of the kids had other plans for their hands. Some chose to clap randomly, some bit their fingernails, some folded their arms across their chest and sulked, and some (ie: you) spent the majority of the program picking fuzz off her dress and trying to button her sweater. The coolest part was when you went up the microphone and recited a few Bible verses. I was wondering if you'd go through with it or not, and you did - like a champ. And the look on your face when the audience clapped for you? I will forever remember that smile.

We went to a local state park to see their Christmas display - you and Charlie were in heaven! Santa also happened to be there - and knowing how much of a NON fan you were of him last year, I prepared you in advance. You seemed super excited to see him, and when it was your turn to sit on his lap, you skipped up to him and made yourself comfortable. The same can't be said for Charlie. He sat, but hung his head the entire time (that's his go-to response for when a stranger talks to him). You explained to Santa that Charlie was really silly and that he probably wouldn't play along. You're quite the perceptive one, my girl.

Just like I did for last year's Christmas gift of a marble run, I planted the idea in your head of wanting Magformers. They're these super rad (read: nerdy) magnetic blocks that I saw on a Mommy Blog last month. I looked at a few YouTube videos about them and was instantly hooked. I showed you the videos and your eyes lit up. You decided that you wanted them more than ANYthing (score for me!) and you squealed like a crazy person when you ripped off the paper and saw them in your lap on Christmas morning. All four of us have had the best time building things with them.

The day after Christmas, you ended up with the flu. And pink eye. To say the last week of you being four has been miserable is a gross understatement. You were burning up with a fever and sobbing the night after Christmas. We took you to Urgent Care the next morning and had you diagnosed with the flu within 15 minutes. I don't remember ever seeing you that pitiful. You just laid in bed and had this sad, far off look in your eyes. On our way back to Marianna (we were in Pensacola when you got sick), Daddy and I noticed that your eyes were swollen and oozy. I called Urgent Care and told them your symptoms and the doctor had seen called in a prescription for pink eye right away. ThankyouJesus.

I've often forgotten that you're only four. Your wit and sense of humor are on par with adults ... you read like someone in the upper grades of elementary school ... you make up stories like a screenwriter ... so when you whine and pitch a fit like a four-year-old, I'm often shocked. I have to remind myself that you're only four. You're a smart four, but you're still only four. And four-year-olds are allowed to be irrational and complete wackadoos. But you're MY wickedly smart, totally irrational, and completely wacky four-almost-five-year-old. And my heart is all the better for you, the girl who felt that beginning her entrance into the world right as the ball dropped in NYC was a solid plan. And it was. You will always, always be my best girl.

Hugs and smooches,
Mommy & Daddy

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Headlines for January 1, 2014:

• 'Once in a lifetime': Global revelers ring in 2014 with booms and flashes
• Pope Francis to Ted Cruz: 2013's breakout stars
• NASA criticizes Beyonce's Challenger song sample
• Barbara Bush hospitalized for respiratory ailment
• Experts fear attacks are terror probes before Sochi
• Schumacher improved, but doctors are still cautious

Month 25 - Recap

Oh my sweet little love,
So on your 2nd birthday, I asked for a kiss ... and you blew in my face. Perhaps you were confused and thought my mouth looked like birthday candles, perhaps you were all hopped up on sugar that you
forgot your manners, perhaps you're just a punk two-year-old. Whatever the reason, you still blow in faces when asked for a kiss. You BLOW in our FACE when we ASK for a KISS. You think it's hilarious! And I admit - it was moderately funny the first time. Maybe even the second time. But the 374th time? Eh. It's exponentially less cute now. KISS ME. I AM YOUR MOTHER, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE. KISS ME,
KISS ME, KISS ME.

A few days ago, Natalie proudly announced that she was going to marry you. Your response? "OH NO. NO, NO, NO, NOOOOOOOOOOO!" My thoughts exactly, my boy. I want you to marry someone
wonderful, but your wonderful sister is not the gal for you.

Speaking of you and Natalie, you two have played so well this month! Of course there are always those screechy, pouty, whiny moments, but for the most part, you two have been joined at the hip this month. She's spent a lot time trying to teach you about shapes, colors, numbers, and letters. You're good with shapes and colors, you're batting about .500 with numbers, and you have zero interest in learning individual letters other than an M and a W. You think it's funny that an upside down M is a W and vice versa.

You've always loved being read to, but you've never been interested in any of the words until recently. Even though you have no interest in having Natalie teach you your ABCs, you're all about the words we read. You point to the same word over and over and over (and over and over ...). You also love finishing the lines in Sandra Boynton's Pajama Time ("But we can all pajammy in whatever we've ..." "GOT!!!"). You think Fifteen Animals is especially funny because all the animals (except one) are named Bob. To even out the score, though, you sometimes call one of the animals 'Pep'. I love, love, love your sense of humor.

Christmastime always feels magical (and stressful ...) to me. But when seen through the eyes of a child? The magic gets multiplied ten fold. You love Christmas carols; you even know that O Holy Night is my favorite, so whenever it comes on, you screech "Ho-wee Nat!" You're in awe of our Christmas tree. You always talk about how tall it is (it's only six feet tall, but to a shortstuff like yourself, it must look enormous). And you get so excited when Natalie plugs it in. You're really gentle with the ornaments (Natalie constantly reminding you to be gentle also helps) and I often catch you just standing in front of the tree, soaking it all in. So I soak you in.

Hugs and smooches,
Mommy & Daddy

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Headlines for December 9, 2013:

• Winter woes for commuters, travelers as relentless storm cancels 1,000 flights
• Who's who of world leaders descends on South Africa to honor Nelson Mandela
• Brees tops 50,000-yard passing mark as Saints rip Panthers
• Paul Walker Memorial Draws Thousands
• Sisters hoping for new parents use ‘prayer balloon’
• Keepsakes, notes by Nancy Drew author sold at Ohio auction

November 2013 - Recap

We went to the park earlier this month and you were playing with two older (five and six) boys. You held your own with them, I was pretty impressed. When the game they came up with was deemed too hard by you, you walked over to their moms and said "Those boys are being tricky. They don't make any sense." Then you laughed and ran back to the boys and convinced them to play a 'less tricky' game. Like chase. Your shoe fell off while you were running so you trotted over to me with your shoe in your hand, wanting some help putting it back on. Not one minute later, your other shoe fell off (clearly your cute little shoes were meant for just that - looking cute. Obviously Gymboree had no intention of these shoes being run in.) Before you could come to me to get help with that shoe, the six-year-old boy said "Oh I'll help you!" So you sat on the ground and he knelt down in front of you and carefully put your shoe back on your foot. It was beyond adorable. A few seconds later, his mom came running over because she thought her son had knocked you down and taken your shoe from you. Once I told her what happened, her face softened and she made the appropriate "Aww!" sounds that mommas are famous for.

Apparently you were being a chatty Cathy at school, and your teacher had to move you to a new table. There was no fussing and no freaking out on your part (thank you, Jesus) but you did assure your teacher she didn't have to tell me you got moved. According to your teacher, the conversation went something like this:

Teacher: Now Natalie, you know I'm gonna have to tell your Momma that I moved you, right?
You: Well of course you don't! Look - I've moved! I've taken care of it! No need to tell Momma!

This month marked the first time you apologized - unprompted - for acting rudely. You were a big ol' sassypants, you got corrected, then a few minutes later you came up to me and said "I'm sorry I spoke rudely to you, Mommy." I scooped you up and we had an epic cuddle session. It was glorious. (And in case you were wondering, not 10 minutes after that, you were a big ol' sassypants again and did NOT apologize for it. I'll take what I can get.)

This is the first year where Daddy and I are actually giving you some say in your Christmas and birthday presents. (I know, I know - it's a travesty that you've had your presents chosen for you for the past four years.) Since you love to write, we asked you to write out your wishlists. Some of the stuff I knew you wanted (a scooter, Magformers [though that one was due to my coaxing - they look really fun and *I* want to play with them so I talked them up a LOT]) but then you went and threw some random stuff on there that I had no clue you wanted. But then I realized you had put things on your list that were advertised on the commercials after some of the shows you like. You love the commercials that come on after Bubble Guppies. You ask to watch that show JUST so you can see the commercials. Some of the toys that are advertised are straight-up creepy, dude. A strange, gigantic-eyed monkey is NOT my idea of a best friend, thankyouverymuch.

This is your last month as the big 0-4. You are unbelievably (no - make that believably; it's totally understandable) excited about your birthday. You're excited about cake (you've requested strawberry
cake this year - and we're not talking vanilla cake with strawberries on top. No, you want pink strawberry cake and pink strawberry frosting), you're excited about presents (we're trying to teach you to ease up on the whole materialism thing, but it's pretty hard when your birthday is one week after Christmas), you're excited about being a big kid. Hopefully maturing to the ripe ol' age of five will lessen your big ol' sassypants-ness, but I'm not holding my breath. You are my child, after all.

Hugs and smooches,
Mommy & Daddy

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Headlines for December 1, 2013:

• 'Fast and Furious' actor Paul Walker dies in high-speed crash
• Etsy-nomics: How crafty artisans stitch together a living in shaky economy
• Canine crowned world's ugliest dog in 2007 dies
• ObamaCare site deadline passes
• Ranchers send livestock to SD after blizzard losses
• Why You Should Give Your Kid an iPad This Holiday (riiiiiiiight - not gonna happen in THIS family)